


My Head's A Prison And Nobody Visits

by DashFlintceschi



Series: Prompt Table [5]
Category: You Me At Six
Genre: Asexuality, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4519122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DashFlintceschi/pseuds/DashFlintceschi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How the hell do you explain homoromantic asexuality to four teenage boys?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Head's A Prison And Nobody Visits

**Author's Note:**

> Number 7 on the prompt table I made for myself: love.

Max sighs as Matt elbows him, jolting him from his focus on his History notes in front of him.

“Hey, check out that fitty, bet you wouldn’t kick him out of bed,” Matt mutters, and Max sighs again, following Matt’s eyes to the guy across the common room. Matt’s right, the guy is gorgeous, as is the guy he’s with, their heads close together as they look down at the pile of paper in front of them, the one Matt had pointed out talking softly, obviously tutoring the other in a subject.

“Yeah, he’s not bad,” Max mutters absently, just to get Matt’s expectant eyes off of him. Matt goes back to pretending to revise, happy with Max’s response, but Max can’t help but keep watching the pair of them. He’s not thinking of anything dirty, though, he never does. He’s finally accepted the fact that he’s asexual, he just hasn’t told anyone. He’s noticed recently, though, that he’ll see a good looking guy, and start imagining a relationship with him, which is what happens as he watches the two of them from across the room. He starts dreaming of dates, curling up on the couch together and watching crappy tv, even stupid arguments they might have.

He’s jolted from his daydreams by the bell ringing, his cheeks starting to burn as he realises the two of them have noticed him staring, and are staring back curiously. When he jolts and looks away, though, they seem happy that he wasn’t actually staring at them, they just happened to be where his eyes stopped when he’d drifted into a daydream. He decides they never need to know the truth as he shoves his stuff into his bag and nudges Matt’s shoulder.

“Hey, I have to go, I’ve got Biology now. I’ll see you at lunch, yeah?” He asks, and Matt nods absently; actually, genuinely revising for once in his life.

Max may as well have stayed in the common room. He spends the entire of his Biology lesson lost in thought, paying absolutely no attention to what’s being said. All he can think about is how screwed up his life is. How is he supposed to explain to anyone that the thought of sex makes him feel ill, but he’d very much like to be in a committed relationship with someone? It barely makes sense to him, so there’s no way he can explain it to someone else, especially not someone he wants to be in a relationship with, like those two guys he saw in the common room.

When the bell rings for lunch, Max sighs, still thinking too hard about how fucked up his brain is. As he walks out of the classroom, he googles asexuality, to see if it’s a common thing. He somehow manages to walk to his locker, which is on the other side of the school, grab his lunch, and walk to the cafeteria, staring at his phone the whole time, without walking into anyone or anything. He finishes reading and puts his phone away as he flumps down into his usual chair between Matt and Chris, and starts digging in his bag for his lunch. How it can get so lost when he only just put it in there is beyond him.

“Hey, it’s the starey guy,” an unfamiliar voice across from him makes him look up, straight into the sparkling blue eyes of the guy from the common room.

“What?” He asks bluntly, deciding to play dumb.

“You were staring at us for ages earlier, in the common room,” the other one chimes in, and Max frowns at them both in fake confusion.

“No I wasn’t. Was I?” He argues, pretending to think about it. “I think I was sleeping with my eyes open for a little while. I might have been unknowingly looking in your direction,” he informs them, and they nod in understanding, allowing Max to go back to finding his lunch.

He’s mostly silent as he eats, letting the others’ conversations wash over him as he thinks over what he read on Wikipedia. He has a name for it now. He’s asexual and homoromantic. Not interested in sex, but interested in romantic relationships with guys, that’s exactly him, and it’s not as weird as he thought it was, thank god. He still doesn’t think he could explain it to anyone, though. Especially not the two guys sat across from him. Josh and Dan, that’s what Chris said their names were. It doesn’t matter now, though. They’ve made it more than obvious that they’re a couple, have been for a while, Max reckons. Looks like he’s just going to have to be happy with just being friends with them. Not that he’d expected anything different, anyway.

Josh and Dan slot in with the three of them easily, and the next Friday, the five of them are at Josh’s, taking advantage of his parents visiting his grandparents for the weekend, and the fact that Dan and Matt are already eighteen, to get drunk. Once Dan’s used his recently acquired driver’s licence to get them booze, they sit around Josh’s living room and get wasted.

After a few hours, and far too many beers and bottles of vodka, Max’s tongue gets a little looser than he’d have liked.

“Come on, we’ll go through every guy in the school, students and teachers, until you admit to wanting to shag one of them,” Matt slurs, and Max shrugs.

“You can go through them all as many times as you like, I’m never going to want to shag any of them,” he insists, and Matt frowns at him.

“So, you’re straight, then? If you’d just said that-”

“I’m not fucking straight. I’m a homoromantic asexual, if you must know,” he interrupts Matt, his voice a little louder than he’d meant for it to be.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Dan slurs from across the room, not taking his eyes from the weird patterns on the ceiling.

“It means I’m not interested in sex, but I’m interested in romantic relationships with guys,” Max explains, quickly sobering up as he realises what he’s just admitted to.

“Oh, right, cool,” Dan replies absently, then lets out a long, loud burp that has the four of them laughing and completely changing the subject, much to Max’s relief.

When morning comes, Max hopes they were too drunk to remember what he’d said. He thinks he’s in the clear, until Josh brings it up while they’re eating the greasiest bacon rolls Max has ever seen, which Dan insists are the best hangover cure ever.

“So, hey, about that thing you were talking about last night, what did you call it, homoasexual?” He pauses, waiting for an answer as Max gets over his dread enough to finish chewing and swallowing his current mouthful.

“Homoromantic asexual, I think I like the sound of yours better, though,” he corrects, and Josh nods.

“Well, whatever you want to call it, I just wanted to let you know that I’m cool with it. I don’t think I fully understand it, but I’ll never give you any shit for it,” he finishes, the other three nodding in agreement as Max sighs in relief.

“Good to know. And I don’t expect you to completely understand it, to be honest, I don’t think I fully understand it myself, yet,” he reassures him, and Josh grins.

“Alright. And, hey, I’m sure you’ll find another homoromantic asexual to be with sooner or later,” he adds, and Chris frowns.

“Why would it have to be another… I’m using Josh’s shorter version out of laziness from now on, by the way; homoasexual? Why not just a gay guy?” He asks, and Josh shrugs.

“Just figured it would have to be. I mean, what person who’s interested in sex would want a relationship they know they’re never going to have sex in? I know I wouldn’t,” he replies, all of them looking at Max in concern as he makes an odd choking noise, dropping his half eaten roll onto his plate as he gets to his feet.

“You alright, mate?” Dan asks, his concern growing as Max quickly grabs his stuff.

“I need to leave,” he tells them, and while none of them see the tears in his eyes, they hear it in his voice. None of them get the chance to say anything, though, as he quickly rams his feet into his shoes and rushes out of the house.

“Is it just me, or was that definitely my fault?” Josh asks quietly, but none of them answer.

Max does everything in his power to avoid the four of them for the next few weeks. He does a good job of it, too, until Dan decides he’s had enough of it. Without any warning, he grabs Max as he comes out of his last class and drags him into an empty classroom, locking the door behind them.

“Right. I’m fucking sick of this. We’re not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong,” he insists, and Max shrugs.

“It’s nothing. It’s stupid,” he mumbles, making Dan glare at him.

“No, it’s not. What Josh said upset you. A lot more than it should have, and we’re not leaving until you tell me why,” he demands, and Max shrugs again.

They go back and forth like this for a while, until Max can’t take it anymore.

“Alright, fine. I’m interested in you and Josh, in a romantic way. I already figured I didn’t have a chance with either of you, but hearing him say it was like getting slapped. Happy now?” He blurts out, and all Dan can do is stare at him in shock. Max uses his shock to his advantage, shoving past Dan and unlocking the door, running out before Dan can even process the fact that he’s gone.

A few hours later, Max is curled up on his bed, wallowing in his misery, when his sister knocks on his bedroom door.

“Two of your friends are here, I’m letting them in,” she tells him, opening the door and walking away before he can argue. He ignores Josh and Dan as they come in and sit on the edge of his bed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Josh tells him softly, and Max shrugs.

“Nothing to be sorry for, can’t help the way you feel,” he mumbles into his pillow.

“Yeah, but if I’d known, I’d have been more gentle about it,” he insists, making Max shrug again.

“Look, we’ve talked about it, and we’ll need some time to think, and talk it over a lot more, but we wanted to let you know that you do have a chance with us,” Dan tells him gently, and Max tenses, not daring to hope.

“What?” He asks, barely even breathing.

“We’re not sure how we feel yet, but we’re seriously considering a relationship with you,” Dan elaborates, and Max finally turns over to look at them.

“If this is a joke, it’s a really shitty one,” he tells them, and they smile slightly.

“We’re not joking, honestly,” Josh tells him, and Max nods.

“Alright. Well, I think we should lay down some ground rules now, just in case,” he decides, and they both nod.

It takes a while, but they finally all agree on everything. The first one, that requires no discussion or thought, is that neither of them even considers ever asking Max for sex. He makes sure they know he’s cool with making out, maybe a bit of groping, he might even be in the mood to give them head every now and again, but he’d get no enjoyment from it, and it would be done entirely as a favour to them. They easily agree to it, agreeing that if any of it does happen, it’ll be because Max offers, they’ll never ask. The rest is basic stuff, agreeing that they can have alone time without anyone worrying that they’re drifting away; trying their hardest to talk about problems instead of arguing.

When they’re just about done, a thought comes to Dan.

“Question. Say we’re sharing a bed, the two of us decide we want to have sex, what happens there?” He asks, and Max shrugs.

“Try not to wake me up, and clean up your mess before I end up lying in it,” he tells them, and they both nod.

“So, do you not enjoy sex at all, or does it just not interest you? I feel like this is something we should know,” Josh asks, and Max shrugs again.

“I’m perfectly happy having a wank every now and again, but the thought of doing it with anyone else makes me feel a bit sick,” he explains, and they nod.

“So you do get the urge, you’re just happy handling it on your own?” Dan asks, making Max frown as he thinks about it.

“Not really. It’s not really an urge, it’s more stress relief, or if I can’t sleep. I feel more relaxed than anything when I wank,” he corrects, and Dan nods.

“Yeah, definitely not normal urges,” he agrees, and Max nods.

“And you definitely wouldn’t want either of us helping with your stress relief?” Josh checks, and Max pulls a face.

“Definitely don’t want you touching my dick,” he confirms, making Josh laugh slightly.

Things go back to normal between them after that, other than Max always being slightly on edge while he waits for their decision. He never lets them see it, and he makes sure it doesn’t affect their friendship. Finally, a week and a half later, Max is revising in the common room, when Josh comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around Max’s neck as he leans on him.

“So, how’s my boyfriend today?” He asks happily, and Max shrugs, still totally absorbed in his Biology textbook.

“Dunno, you’ll have to go ask him,” he mumbles, trying to remember how to pronounce the thirteen letter long word he’s squinting at.

“I am asking you,” Josh laughs, and it finally clicks. Max’s head shoots up so fast, Josh barely manages to pull back in time to avoid having his nose broken.

“Seriously?” He asks quickly, and Josh laughs.

“You really need to stop thinking we’re fucking with you, love,” he tells him, and Max grins.

“Well, in that case, your boyfriend was in a vile mood, but you’ve just made it a million times better,” he replies, and Josh grins.

“Good to hear, anything I can help with?” He asks, nodding at Max’s textbook.

“Not unless you’re the master of AS level biology,” he shrugs, and Josh grins wider.

“Not a fucking clue. Never taken biology. All I’m good for is politics, history and film studies. Oh, and making sure Dan doesn’t totally bomb his French A-level,” he replies, dropping down into the chair beside Max.

“You’re taking A-level politics? Seriously?” Max asks incredulously, and Josh shrugs.

“For some reason, I like how much it confuses me,” he explains, and Max snorts.

“Wait, how can you help Dan with French if you’re not taking it?” He asks, and Josh frowns.

“Wow, I really need to start talking about myself more,” he mumbles, and Max makes a quiet noise of agreement. “My dad’s French, so I’ve been fluent pretty much my whole life,” he explains, turning and grinning at Dan as he sits down across from them, holding out his French coursework with a pleading look.

“Help me, I’m pitiful and you feel sorry for me,” he begs, and Josh laughs, taking it from him with a nod. “So, he told you?” Dan asks Max as Josh looks over Dan’s coursework.

“Yep. So, we all still happy with what we agreed on?” Max replies, and they both nod, though Josh does it without lifting his eyes from the folder in front of him.

“Yeah, though I think we should all agree that we can go back and re-discuss anything we feel needs changed at any point. Except the whole ‘asking you for sex’ thing,” Dan adds, and Max shrugs.

“No, actually, we can go back and re-discuss that too, if we feel the need. You never know, I might totally change how I feel about sex in a couple of years. I probably won’t, but let’s leave it open, just in case,” he amends, and they both nod happily. Now all they have to do is actually put it into practice.


End file.
